I’m not going to lie. The day I found out the transfer was officially successful – I was pregnant! – was a little bit anti-climactic. Because I simply knew my body and its schedule, I was mostly assuming, by the time of the official test, only about a week and a half after the embryo transfer, that I was, indeed, pregnant.

And that was absolutely thrilling. I wanted so much for this to work – and for it to work the first time. So, don’t get me wrong, I was – am – happy. Very happy. I feel so incredibly privileged and blessed to be expecting such a miracle. What an amazing God we serve!

Yet, while I was happy – there was not actually much fanfare. Because while it’s definitely exciting and happy, there’s not actually much for me to do now. Other than just be pregnant. Were I expecting the arrival of our own new family member, I would eagerly be planning out a nursery, or considering how to re-arrange our bedrooms, or contemplating which baby gear needs to be replaced or where our hand-me-down clothes are located. I would have something to do.

This process, though, of being a gestational carrier, feels almost backward. There was so much to do as we prepared for this moment. There were tests, paperwork, more tests, discussions and plans made. There were appointments and exams and lots of travel plans to consider. But then I was pregnant. And it was this moment, almost, of “Well, now what?”

And, honestly, the “now what” consists, as mentioned, of little more than simply being pregnant.

I’m trying to focus on remembering what I am and am not allowed to eat. I’m daily reminding myself which supplements and medications to put into my body to give this little one the healthiest environment and best building blocks imaginable.

And that’s about it.

And right now, at what is considered 8 weeks along, I am actually still not experiencing many pregnancy symptoms. Yes, I’m tired, but with four little ones running around my house, tired is my normal. Yes, I frequently visit the bathroom, but having carried four little ones bouncing on this momma bladder, that’s not abnormal, either. And, don’t get me wrong, I don’t bemoan the current lack of morning sickness, but all around this lack of “feeling” pregnant, just, well, feels . . . anti-climactic.

So, for now I’m just trusting that my body is doing what it needs to and little one is making itself cozy in there. And we’re just moving on with life. Pregnant.