Fun Fact: I struggle with anxiety.

It’s not as severe as I know others encounter and I don’t find myself in panic attacks, thankfully, but it’s the kind of anxiety that streams constant worst-case scenarios through my imagination.

If I’m in line at an amusement park, I wonder if the guy next to me is part of a plot to cause this roller coaster to explode right after it starts – while I’m on it. Or, if the other patrons aren’t terrorists, then what if this is the time, after hundreds and thousands of passengers have ridden safely, that something decides to snap? And would that cause death, or just severe injury? And which is worse?

When I’m at a movie theater, I’m watching the exits and feel a rush of adrenaline when someone enters in the middle of a movie or stands up unexpectedly. Would I be able to escape if someone were to start shooting?

I recently read a book featuring a main character struggling with OCD and anxiety and she described it perfectly, explaining that while I know the odds of any of these imagined outcomes is extremely low, the fact that they DO happen, and they DO happen to people who never expected them to happen means they could STILL happen to ME.

And so I’m afraid.

A lot.

But I try not to show it. Almost ever.

I walk around in a state of fear that is covered by an easy-going veneer.

I saw someone say recently that the type of personality that struggles with anxiety is actually the bravest personality type – because those of us who have this constant stream of worst-case scenarios playing through our minds are living in near-constant fear, and yet doing all the things anyway.

I’m afraid this roller coaster is going to hurl me to my death, but I’ll get on it with my husband, because it brings him joy.

I’m terrified someone will walk into my movie theater with a gun, but I still go to the theater because my family loves the experience.

Thus, nearly every experience that requires me to be in a public place is an act of courage. Every time I get on the road, not sure if I’ll arrive at my destination, I choose life over fear.

And I can do these things without becoming an agoraphobic because I know who holds me in his hands.

I might die today.

But so could anyone.

And I know what’s waiting for me on the other side.

I know there is a Heaven and I know that’s my Home and I know it’s so much better than life here.

I see death like a Jack-in-the-Box – I know what’s going to come out of the box is not actually anything to fear, but the anxiety comes in not knowing when or how it will happen.

But maybe your fears are more day-to-day. Maybe you don’t worry about death or pain hiding behind every door, maybe for you it’s finances. Maybe it’s security. Maybe it’s the thought that you might not have enough to eat or a place to live. Maybe you worry about your job or your friendships or your identity.

What I know, though, in the end, is that whatever I face today – be it death, or loss, or insecurity, or hunger, I still know whose hand I have to hold.

I can live in courage because I know God is in control. Always.

His peace guides my every step.

Because, what I’ve learned is that my anxiety and worry do little to effect any kind of change over anything outside of my attitude.

The Bible points to this very idea: “And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest?” [Luke 12:25-26]

So, instead of worry, I pray.

And when I pray, I don’t typically pray for safety, because that’s not what we’re called to. Instead, I pray for peace. I pray that I would remember my God holds my future. I pray for wisdom, for me and for those around me.

I pray for courage.

Worry won’t grant me any of these things. Worry doesn’t bring peace. Worry doesn’t remind me that it’s actually just fine that I’m not in control. Worry doesn’t provide wisdom and rarely leads to wise, rational decisions.

What does worry do? It causes me to miss what God actually has for me. It causes me to endure the emotion and pain of any undesired outcome before I’ve even been called to walk through it (and without the grace God provides to those actually enduring that situation).

Worry, like fear, is a liar. It tells me I’m not capable. It tells me any future other than what I’ve planned is going to be impossible to survive. Mostly, it tells me I can’t trust the God who created this universe.

And I have to make a choice not to believe the lies my mind feeds me.

And the Bible tells me the results – when I choose prayer over worry or anxiety: “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” [Philippians 4:7].

And this is what I need – a guardian for my heart. A guardian for my mind. A guardian of peace that brings courage.

Thus, I choose courage. I choose peace. I choose prayer.

Want this sign hanging in your home as a reminder of your commitment to pray more and worry less? Find yours here! But be sure to sign up below for a coupon to my Etsy shop and save on this sign or any other item in my shop.