I’ve tried not to keep it a secret lately that I have struggled. I have so many days where I see my children and I laugh with them and I try my best to serve them in love. But I also have those Ecclesiastical days where everything seems meaningless and I would so much rather huddle under my covers and just not be a part of this chaos that is life, and because I choose not to huddle, I meet my people living under the same roof with hostility and anger and frustration, not because of them, but because I just don’t know how to handle it all.

A number of weeks ago, I was watching a reality show, the kind where celebrities mix with “commoners” in the efforts to help them navigate into this world of fame these well-known names have been so lucky as to fall into. And because back-stories are what help us as the audience invest in these contestants, the teenage girl was sharing with her celebrity coach the difficulties of her young life – namely that she had struggled with depression and anxiety for years and music was her way of coping. And this strikingly beautiful celebrity, who has what so many are looking for in life, rather than enveloping the girl in a hug of pity or offering consoling words for all she has had to go through, responded, instead, with words of mutual understanding that struck me right to my core:

“Why is being a human so hard?”

It was a little like a sucker punch, the words that pulled me up out of my pit as I realized, it’s not that my life is hard. Being a human is hard. For every human. And I feel like on a certain level I knew that, but I felt like my struggle was unique to me or to at least a subsect of human beings who don’t know how to navigate what it feels everyone else has already figured out. And maybe they have. But it’s not because it wasn’t hard.

Being a human is hard.

It’s hard being a mom. It’s hard to endure pain and loss. It’s hard living in poverty. It’s hard to run a business. It’s hard to work a thankless job. It’s hard to work mulitple jobs to take care of your family. It’s hard to feel misunderstood. It’s hard to have responsibility. It’s hard when expectations are placed on you that you don’t know how to fulfill. It’s hard to be tired. It’s hard to make the right choices. Every day.

It’s hard.

And there are without doubt varying levels of difficulty and pain and tragedy, but this does not negate the fact that it’s hard – just to be alive.

And, yet, as humans, we have tried from the beginning of time to make it not so. Many brilliant individuals have worked so hard to make our lives less hard. We, in this modern age, have a plethora of technology all designed to make our lives easier. I have a machine literally washing my clothes right now so I can type this. I have computers that are teaching my children their homeschool curriculum this very moment. I have clean dishes I didn’t have to wash by hand. I can hop in a car, so I don’t have to walk the half mile, to go a store to buy food I didn’t have to labor over in order to feed my family.

In theory, life is the easiest it’s ever been, because every generation has toiled to be sure the generation after them has it just a little better.

But it doesn’t feel better. The tasks have changed, but it still feels hard. I’ve wondered if that might be part of the problem. Because somehow, in our current generation – the one where we didn’t grow up milking the cows or churning the butter or walking ten miles uphill both ways – we’re made to feel like we have it so easy. Like life is easy. And then when it’s not, it makes it feel like this isn’t the way it’s supposed to be. Because it’s not supposed to be hard.

But that’s a lie.

The truth is – as long as other humans are on this earth with us, it doesn’t matter how many or how few tasks of manual labor we face, life is going to be hard. Because it’s hard to treat people well when you’re having a bad day. It’s hard to navigate a world where the people around you think differently and act in ways we don’t understand, and believe differently and treat people differently than we think they should. It’s hard to stand up for what’s right because it’s hard to oppose other people. As a Christian, it’s hard to live counter-culturally and have real relationships with those who don’t understand. This act of being a human living among other humans is hard.

And I’m pretty sure we all recognize this, because I don’t know about you, but the conversation comes up multiple times in my house – “Can’t we just move to a cabin in the mountains and not tell anyone where we are?” When it’s hard, we want to get away – unless you’re an extrovert and then maybe you don’t. Maybe you have your own set of problems, but I’m going to guess interacting with humans is still hard – even if it’s what gives you energy.

And even though there are pockets of Christianity that want us to believe otherwise, the Bible does not argue that life is supposed to be easy. Jesus himself commanded his followers to “take up their cross daily.” [Luke 9:23] He literally told them to deny themselve and to be willing to die, so willing that you’d carry your own instrument of death on your back, daily. I mean, that sounds easy, right? And he gave this command before he had died on the same instrument of death. Before he had risen from the dead. Before he had turned the cross into a pretty decoration for our walls – a symbol of hope and love. When he issued that command you wouldn’t find anyone selling crosses on chains at a roadside stall or tattooing them on their arms. They were ugly and painful and rough. He wasn’t asking anyone to do what’s easy. It’s ugly and painful and rough to follow Christ in this world.

Then, why, I cried to my husband just the other night, do we do this? Why does it have to be this way? Why can’t it just BE EASY and if it’s never going to be easy, then what is the point?

And he sat. And he listened. And he answered, “For the moments when it’s good. For the moments when you get to sit with your daughter and build Lego people. For watching the sunset or for sitting around the table and playing games with friends. There’s more to it than just that, but those moments make the rest of it worth it.”

And he’s not wrong. It’s never going to be easy, but there is plenty of good.

So, I went to sleep. And I woke up and I prayed. Because those little humans I interact with all day every day represent some of my hardest places. They are blessings, to be sure, but just because something is a blessing doesn’t mean it’s easy. And because it’s too overwhelming to challenge myself to do my best for the rest of always, I focused on today. What is it going to look like to love them well just for today? So, before I opened my door to greet their faces, I sat up and wrote down this prayer (which I then also shared on social media, because I thought maybe I wasn’t the only mom who needed to say this prayer):

” Today . . . I will open my eyes . . . And keep them open.
Today . . . I will respond with kindness.
Today I will say ‘yes’ to requests for help.
Today I will speak words of encouragement and not belittlement.
Today I will not make snide remarks about how hard it is to be a kid.
Because being a kid is hard.
It’s hard not knowing what’s happening next.
It’s hard wanting to be in control, but to not be.
It’s hard when the people in control don’t take you seriously.
It’s hard to be yelled at and feel unheard.
Life. Is. Hard. and not just for me.
Today . . . I will do what I can to make it less hard – for me, and for them.
Today I will see them. And hear them.
Today I will not focus on me and my hurts so I can see them and theirs.
Today I will love.
I will be patient and kind.
I will not envy or be boastful or arrogant.
I will not be rude, self-seeking, or irritable.
I will put aside the record of wrongs I have kept, finding no joy in unrighteousness, but only in truth.
I will bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, endure all things.
I will love them when they speak like children, think like children and reason like children – for sooner than I know, they will be putting aside childish things.
I will put aside my own childish words, thoughts, and actions.
Today I will know that I am fully known.
And I will love. “

The apostle Paul said it so much more succinctly:

Be alert, stand firm in the faith, be courageous, be strong. Do everything in love.

1 Corinthians 16:13-14, CSB

Because maybe if I’m an easier human to live with, it will make it just a little bit easier for the humans with whom I interact. Life is hard. Being a human is hard. But my acting in love with make it at least a little easier for someone else.

One thing that helps when we’re dealing with the difficulty of life is to dig into the Word of God. If you would like to begin your own personal Bible Study on a book of the Bible, check out my blog post here and click here to grab my FREE Bible Study Book Study Background Worksheet Download.