Are You Broken?
"And what could this bowl, broken, unable to fill its needs, do to earn my reaching out to put it back together? Not a thing. The only aspect about it that has earned its healing is that it's broken."
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Embracing the White Space
White Space. It’s a phrase I heard from a friend who spent this past fall chasing after it. Or maybe chasing is the wrong word, because it flies right in the face of the “white space” concept. Because what white space speaks into our lives is a place to just rest in the in between. I suppose it would be more accurate to say she was choosing to cherish the white space. It isn’t a concept unique to her and I’m positive I’m late to the party (as always), but ...
Featured, Gestational Carrier, Surrogacy, Uncategorized
Of the Fear-Filled Morning
It began with a trickle. But the trickle was pink. And that’s not a good color to find on your bedsheet when you’re pregnant. But when I felt the rush of fluid while heading in the hospital doors, touched my soaking pants and came away with fingers wet with red, my intermittant nervous tears turned into full weeping. It was too late. I just knew it. At nearly 15 weeks, this baby was gone. When I continued to see an overwhelming amount of reddish pink on the ER bed sheets, the ...
Now What?
I’m not going to lie. The day I found out the transfer was officially successful – I was pregnant! – was a little bit anti-climactic. Because I simply knew my body and its schedule, I was mostly assuming, by the time of the official test, only about a week and a half after the embryo transfer, that I was, indeed, pregnant. And that was absolutely thrilling. I wanted so much for this to work – and for it to work the first time. So, don’t get me wrong, I was ...
Featured, Gestational Carrier, Surrogacy, Uncategorized
Surrogacy – The Why
I don’t remember how the conversation was started, but I remember, after this body of mine developed and birthed three babies, realizing how incredibly blessed I was that my body had such an incredible ability to do this thing it feels like it should do, yet, as I saw so many hurting women around me, also recognizing it wasn’t a given. Having problem-free pregnancies and deliveries is an absolute gift. It felt, in a certain sense, like my body was just made to have babies. ...